Is it Me??

Hey everyone,

It has been awhile since I have posted a blog here. I won’t bore you with all the details about how busy I have been, just trust me on that one… there was a puking toddler involved, ’nuff said?

Okay so I wanted to share a story about my day yesterday. I have told this to several people at work. No one seems to be as freaked out about it as I was. Perhaps I am being a nanny-panny, but I was freaked out.

So I was in a big ol’ hurry yesterday because I am an airhead and agreed to record Girls Night In on Monday instead of our usual Wednesday. I was thinking that I had nothing special for Monday… well I plum forgot that Aly has gymnastics on Mondays from 5:30 to 6:00. In my mind, that is nothing special it is just normal and therefore did not stick out. Problem is that we record at 6:00 my time. So I also had about 1.5 million things to do in the half hour before I walked my little leotard clad child into the gymnastics room, and was feeling a wee bit stressed out.

I got off work, got stuck in LA trafiic, complete with fire back-ups, ran into a cigar shop to get my soon-to-be-someday-brother-in-law-if-my-sister-ever-gets-her-head-outta-her-bum a birthday present. The owner offered me his firstborn son, who was also standing there. That was a bit awkward… but I grabbed my cigars and took my now cancer ridden lunged self outta there to pick up Aly. I brought her home to change and to set up my laptop to record to I could run in the door and start talking basically. Well, I at least try to distract her while we record because it really sucks to have to stress constantly about whether or not she is going to make a sound while I am talking, which inevitably happens anyway. So I decided to run by Kmart to get her some new markers and watercolors.

By the time I pulled into Kmart, I had consumed a Rock Star energy drink, an iced coffee, and a coke zero. I was hoppin’, which was working for me since I had approxiamately 3.2 seconds to get into the store and buy said marker-distraction. I threw (not literally) Aly into a cart and started running through the parking lot (literally). I see a man talking to a woman in front of me, near the entrance to the store. It seems as though Burbank is being taken over by solicitors much the way South Park was overrun by the homeless. So the guy comes up to me and starts talking… I cut him off (admittedly not polite, but is soliciting really all that inducive to politeness?) and said “I am sorry but I am really in a hurry”. Remember that I am streaking (not literally) across the parking lot hopped up on lots of chemically induced energy. He looked at me and went all postal. He started screaming “F*!$ you! F*!$Americans! F*!$ Women! F*!$ing Infidels!” (literally). I am running my booty across a parking lot with a wanna be terrorist solicitor chasing me, thinking “Seriously? This is happening?”. I got into Kmart, found my markers at a record pace (remember the chemicals and now add adreneline to the cocktail), went to the checkstand and told the clerk, no doubt at a rate of about 5000 words per minute about the crazy man in the parking lot, and she looks at me with a stare so blank that I wanted to give Aly her markers early so that she could draw this woman a clue, and said “You are gonna have to stand in line at customer service if you have a complaint about our parking lot”. There was a line at customer service… and I am already late for more things than I can count (but if you listened to the nature episode of GNI you know not late in THAT way). I just took my overly stimulated self out the door, figuring if I saw him again I would just karate chop his A$% at this point because I must be possessing some super-human strength and agility, but he was gone.

The rest of the evening was comparably non-eventful but I am still a little overwhelmed, and well everyone here is a little underwhelmed. I am hoping someone out there could just be whelmed for me. To quote Aly “Waaa Dude”.

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